I always thought it was children that ruined an occasion, whether it be a trip to the cinema, eating out or even a short car journey. But, no. It is in fact the parents. Whilst recently relaxing at the beach I was treated to the warm glow of the sun on my face, the waves lapping gently up to the rocks and the general sounds of merriment and fun being had by all.
But then a couple arrived with a child, maybe 6 years old and started to unpack next to me. I rolled over and concentrated as hard as I could on my book. Time passed, and aside from the odd tantrum concerning the denial of an ice-cream the child was perfectly well behaved. So much so that as a treat, he was allowed to go in the sea alone as long as 'your dad can see you at all times'.
I didn't even finish the page I was on before the kid came running up the beach, pointing to his mouth and asking politely for a drink of water. Clearly he'd just taken a massive gulp of the Atlantic. His mum passed him a bottle of water and he took a mouthful, swilled it around and trickled it out onto the sand. No big deal, or so I would have thought, but this caused the mum to go into meltdown.
She started screaming at this poor kid that 'spitting is the most disgusting habit in the world' and proceeded to blame this boy, her own son, for the lack of guests they have round for dinner. Now I'm guessing that is has less to do with the oral habits of her son and more to do with the fact that she is as highly strung as a tennis bat, and about as accommodating as a smack across the face from the aforementioned sports accessory.
Obviously, there is no correlation between affluence and parenting ability, but thanks to these middle-class, al dente pasta eating parents that feel compelled to give a running commentary of events as they unfold, to show the world how they are parenting with force yet compassion, I have a new found respect for children. Let's not get carried away, most of them are still little shits, but next time I see one acting up I'll shout at the parent before the child.
